7.7.15

3 a.m.


São três da manhã e eu não consigo adormecer, prometi a mim mesma ir dormir mais cedo hoje, mas o meu cérebro não para, escrevo-te num caderno de matemática, apenas porque era o que se encontrava mais perto, e eu precisava de te escrever.
São três da manhã e eu dei por mim no teu facebook, à procura não sei de quê, mas, fosse o que fosse, não o encontrei, nem sei como lá fui parar, meio por acaso, meio sem querer, da mesma forma que me encontrei a gostar de ti, há tanto tempo.
São três da manhã e já falo de ti como se de nada, além de passado, te tratasses, um erro, uma sombra, uma pedra no caminho, e eu que sou tão boa a tropeçar...! E, no entanto, quando penso em ti, só se me assomam à mente os momentos bons, e eu sei tão, tão bem, que a cada um deles correspondem dez, cem, mil momentos maus, tanto choro, tantas lágrimas, tantos gritos, mas não controlo as minhas memórias de ti, quem me dera poder.
São três da manhã e faz quase um ano desde a última vez que te vi, antes não tivesse visto, que mania esta da vida de nos pregar rasteiras, e, outra vez, lá tropecei, e fui de cara ao chão quando te vi, claro está.
São três da manhã e aqui estou, e tu também, não nos falamos há anos mas assombras-me todos os dias, com esse teu nome que me persegue, com aqueles sítios onde passamos, e eu nem sei por onde passas agora, nem sei onde estás, nem onde nem como, espero que longe, espero nunca mais ter de trocar um olhar contigo, quem me dera nunca ter trocado nenhum.
São três da manhã e que merda de primeiro amor que eu escolhi, amor esse que, mesmo apagado, me persegue, como que tentando sufocar-me com o fumo das cinzas que dele restam, amor esse que eu quis, sim, eu quis-lo, mas eu era nova e ingénua e o único fogo que conhecia era o calor da lareira, não sabia o quanto o fogo podia devastar realmente, não sabia o quanto eu podia ser devastada.

1 comentário:

  1. MASONRY IS DECEPTIVE AND EVIL. IT WILL TAKE YOU DOWN THE PATH OF DARKNESS AND INTO THE LAP OF THE UNDERWORLD!

    The Problem in our society are the Freemasons, aka masons. If they were to disappear, the world would be a farrrr.....better place!

    Masonry, the sure path to ruin. You may not see it now in the beginning, but you will as you progress in the craft and further yourself away from God and your Christian faith...

    For starters, masons are interested ONLY in accepting those that hold some position of importance or authority in society. If it is a would be or actual politician than even better! Masons do NOT accept regular joes, homeless, or unimportant lazy folk. Second, the hook is the so-called Believe in a Higher Being nonsense (be it Jew, Christian, Buddhist, Muslim etc.). Third, as the mason progresses through the stages in the craft, the end goal for him is to realize that He does not need God because the transformation has occurred whereby the member realizes he is a God unto himself. Moreover, the ceremonies he participates in are Occult period and anti-Catholic (Christian), Muslim, Jewish, and Buddhist. They are demonic period.
    Fourth, it is the duty of every mason not to knowingly or wittingly do harm, talk bad about or tell on his fellow mason. And, when a fellow mason is in need or danger to help him above all else. Therefore, this is the WHY it is so simple for the pedophiles within the occult mason organization to easily rape, molest, enter children with impunity. Some use mikey Finn, or simply get vulnerable children in exchange for cash to their families who need it. No fellow mason can, or is allowed by their own acceptance of the rules when entering the craft, to "tell" on one another. Hence, the perfect crime.
    Fifth, just to clarify, the end game of masonry, which also is the de facto mission of the occult, is to slowly like hairloss, have it's members deconstruct all that is descent and Holy in society. Masonry and Catholicism are non-congruent. This is why every mason has a duty to oppress society (one of the masonic central tenets is: Through Chaos Comes Order, and it is the masons that will establish their occult order unto society). This is the reason why they work hard to destroy all that is sanctity in society and impose demonic teachings (For example: no Lord's prayer, gays and lesbians and 1/2 and 1/2 are a good thing,not a mental disorder which it is and if you oppose this you are racist of some sort. Have an abortion because it is not a human you have inside you but a piece of pepperoni, flood countries with muslims who NEVER integrate and are shut-in and by nature only impose on all their religious ways of thinking at all costs etc.).
    And lastly, If one is a Catholic one cannot become a freemason. DO NOT be fooled by the masons and their lies. It is a mortal sin and excommunication to follow. If it were up to me i would banish masonry peiod, jail the pedophiles and bring forth to the Hague International Court all masons to pay for their Crimes Against Humanity. Hopefully, some day, this will occur.

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